This article is all about how to rekindle love and bring back the spark. When youâre in a long-term relationship or marriage, it can be really easy to become super complacent.
Most of the time the shift is so gradual and subtle that you can wake up one day and recognize that your love is missingâŠ something.
Imagine the scenario: Youâre quite satisfied, comfortable even, in where you are. You think, âI donâtÂ needÂ to make the effort, like I did in the beginningâ. You think, âmy partnerÂ likesÂ me the way I am, and how we are togetherâ.
You know what? You may be right. Your partner probably does love how you both are with one another: the dynamic you have and the super comfy life you have, safe in the knowledge that neither of you are going anywhere anytime soon.
However, what you probably wonât realize is that this comfort can make your relationship quickly spiral to the point where it becomes stale and tired.
âStale!?â I hear you cry.
Yes, boring. Musty. Stale.
In fact, one of the biggest relationship killers is simply, complacency.
Essentially, we often fail to show our significant otherâs how much we care about them. I mean, they put up with our mood swings, bad days and bickering. It can mean a lot to receive a small act of kindness and love.
In fact, it is commonplace for long-term couples to become complacent in the knowledge that you are in a monogamous relationship and that is how it will always be. We end up taking our other half massively for granted and become lazy. We get into a lackluster routine, with a certain banality.
The unfortunate truth is that when the relationship transitions from actively wanting each other, toÂ needingÂ to be together â the excitementÂ dissolves rapidly, ultimately resulting in the deterioration of spontaneity, fun and sooner or later, overall happiness.
Continually evolve and invest in the relationship to rekindle love.
WeÂ valueÂ more what weÂ invest in. When we look after something, look to develop and take care, we instinctively become more attached to it. This is the same with relationships, and as soon as we start neglecting ourselves and the relationship, you unconsciously care less.
In order to rekindle the spark, we need to continually improve and grow: surpriseÂ your partnerÂ on occasion and show them that you are growing as a person. Try and look for new ways to make progress within the relationship.
When was the last time you surprised your significant other at lunch or after work (have you ever)?
Or compliment them out of the blue, it costs nothing, and theyâll appreciate you noticing!
Or pick up some flowers or chocs next time youâre out â It is so simple â and then think about how much happiness it can bring.
Or pick a task they hate doing and do it for them: whether it be taking out the buns, cleaning, something they loath and makes their day a little less stressful!
Something so small can bring a smile to your partnerâs face when they least expect it, so why wouldnât you want to do it once in a while?
Itâs important to remember that itâs not always about putting in effort to please your partner. Improving your long-term love additionally means taking care of yourself: keep healthy,Â treat yourself occasionally, enjoy your extracurricular activities and experiences with friends and family. This will naturally improve your happiness as well.
Retain that passion for life. Life is about balance and continual growth, maintain your strength and confidence in yourself.
Combine these and you and your partner will reap the benefits!
At The Vida Consultancy, we provide clients with a unique approach, combining psychological principles and assessments with character-driven profiling, so let us find you the perfect person to have the spark with. We also understand that relationships require work, and with our coaching service, we know how it can feel to lose the spark. Working with many couple previously, we can provide further consultation into learning to communicate and rekindle the magic. Contact us to find out how we can support you on your journey to finding love.